Absolute Avoidance

"Avoid the ones who expect you to fail." Monica Wood

As with the lesson that I should be in my own fan club (see blog from 20 June), it also took me entirely too long to realize that not only COULD I avoid those who expected me to fail, but I also SHOULD avoid them.

(This is tricky sometimes because some people cheer you on to your face but secretly want you to fail, for whatever reason...jealousy...to feel better about their lives, who knows why someone would do this).

The problem with being around people who expect you to fail is that failure starts to make sense. (I have this chat with some of my adult learners whose family, friends, significant other, doesn't support the pursuing of a college degree). We start to think, "I respect this person's opinion (for whatever reason, habit? Fear?). This person thinks I will fail, therefor they are probably right and I will probably fail. (A slight bastardization of the "if A=B and B=C, then A must = C).

Avoid people who expect you to fail. Seems simple enough. You should be around people whose actions support your actions (see blog from 17 June) and you determination to succeed multiplies with their support (Also watch out for those who expect you to fail the whole time and then attempt to jump on the bandwagon with an "I always knew you would make it."

Watch people's actions. See if their body language matches their words. Keep those who truly support you, in your closest circle. And avoid those who want you to, expect you to, hope you, take actions to try to make you fail...avoid them all. Surround yourself with positive energy and people. It matters.