Looking back on year 40

Last year I was reflecting on my third decade on this planet, and I commented on the fact that my 30's had bouts of anger and passion, moments of absolute joy and soul-crushing sorrow. Two of the greatest extremes of human emotion with the loss of Trav and the publishing of my first novel...talk about hitting a bottom (not rock bottom...that was still waiting for me) and having the most natural high imaginable (which is the only kind I know :D).

It was the decade that showed me about love and truly started my author career.

So far my 40's have been really odd and extreme. I have been growing as an author and letting go as a teacher. A transition is happening in my life. (I also learned what true rock bottom felt like)

I have looked at the relationships in my life and have let got of those who were not what I needed them to be, could never be what I wanted them to be. I have lost contact with people I never would have thought I could lose and have met people I would never have met if things had gone differently. And now that I have ended some relationships, I feel lighter and healthier and more focused on myself and my goals. The people I have met through all of this, I know cannot imagine my life without.

Love continues to allude me, but with a full-time teaching job and a full-time author life, I am not exactly giving lover an actual chance. But my heart is healing and I am rediscovering my belief in love, so it's a start. Since things tend to happen when they are supposed to, I have no doubt that love is on its way.

Finding out I had arthritis in my right knee (haven't examined the left one yet...) has me more determined to lose weight and get healthy. I push myself, but also let myself rest to not do more damage.

So far the pros far outweigh the cons and I really think this is going to be the best decade yet.